It’s too damned hot to think about writing today…which can only mean it’s time for another dachshund digression.
Some dogs play fetch, others hunt, or balance dog biscuits on their snouts, or leap up to catch Frisbees in mid-air, or even warn their masters of impending seizures. I’ll admit that our little guys’ arsenal of tricks is a bit more limited.
Sure, they can sit, heel, and come when called. They can even shake hands dachshund-style (while lying on their backs). But we have discovered their biggest talent: they are champion squeaky disablers. It’s quite an impressive sight, really.
For their one-year anniversary, we bought the dogs matching stuffed cows made of sturdy canvas. We’ve learned to avoid the average furry dog toys. Those are dismembered in seconds. These were heavy duty--cylindrical shaped, with no appendages to tear loose other than the two ears and the snouty nose. Which meant they lasted one whole day.
Kasay and Brodsky’s desqueaking technique is quite methodical. First, they locate the squeaker and clamp down on it repeatedly until the plastic is pierced and the noise is silenced. At least to human ears. Apparently, the dogs can still hear the plastic bladder faintly clicking deep inside and will not rest until, thread by thread, the animal’s outer layer is breached and the squeaker removed and chewed into pulp. Then comes the disembowelment, in which every last bit of fluff is removed from the incision and flung about until the floor looks like it’s covered with clouds. Left behind is the deflated outer layer, which the dogs continue to chew on indefinitely until I hide it away.
Should you disturb the dogs during their surgery for, say, a potty break, they will not be distracted from the task at hand. Brodsky is particularly single-minded and will clamp down on the toy for dear life and give you a fierce growl if you’re foolish enough to try to take it away from him. Best just to let him bring it outside while he does his business. Kasay is a bit easier to distract and will drop anything if you wave a treat in front of his nose.
Day 366 of the occupation, and the dachshunds are training me well. Not only do they devour stuffed toys at $5 a pop, they have devised yet another means of tricking me into showering them with snacks.
Here are your visual aids.
Stage One: Kasay locating the exact position of the squeaker:
Stage Three: Brodsky in the middle of a fluff-ectomy
2 comments:
Your dogs sound a lot like my dogs when it comes to the squeaky toys. First they remove all the stuffing to get to the squeaky part, leaving, as you say, the fluff all over the floor. Then the squeaky part is chewed repeatedly, making that pitiful squeaky sound, until finally it is piereced and silent.
The only difference is my dogs outweigh yours by about 100 pounds!
Too funny about your huge dogs doing the same thing. We've had big dogs before and all they cared about were tennis balls and rawhide bones.
I don't understand why they don't make stuffed animal-type dog toys without squeakers. I don't know if those would last any longer though.
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