A dachshund digression that’s probably TMI

Number of entries received for the 2007 InnermoonLit Award for Best Short-Short Story to date: 124

Forgive me. It’s the first week of school, and I’m having trouble focusing on anything other than surviving the madness. Thankfully the dogs' shenanigans never cease to provide fodder for the blog....

If you give it much thought at all, you probably think of urination as a simple means of emptying the bladder. Kasay would concur, but not brother Brodsky.

To him, peeing is a way of laying claim to what he believes is rightfully his. And he has his own bizarre sense of manifest destiny, firmly believing that once his stubby legs have trodden any given piece of dirt, it becomes his private property. On walks, he stores up his urine, strategically parsing it out on a shrub here, a sprig of monkey grass there. Hydrants and fence posts are his favorites. When Kasay relieves himself, Brodsky swoops in after to cover Kasay’s scent with his own.

So I had to laugh a few days ago when the karma gods paid Brodsky a visit. Our next door neighbors have a large shepherd mix named Jacob whom Brodsky can’t stand and who is often allowed to roam around off the leash on his walks.

Jacob happened to be out for his early morning potty break right when we were headed back into the house from ours. As soon as the boys saw Jacob, it was the usual mayhem: Kasay whining and straining at the leash, wanting to go make friends, Brodsky whipped into a fierce barking frenzy, straining just as hard (being considerate dogs, they want to make sure both my biceps get an equal workout), wanting to go attack. Jacob ran over and nuzzled with Kasay a minute before prancing up to our front door and peeing on the bush right beside it.

Brodsky was as infuriated as I’d ever seen him. His bark went from lion to tyrannosaurus rex level. The enemy urinating on the one bush he has to pass every time he enters and leaves his own home!

When Jacob finally went home and the dogs had settled down enough that I felt able to take a step without being pulled over, I led them to the door where, predictably, Brodsky made a beeline for the Jacob-scented shrub, intending to cover over the foul cur’s attempt at claiming his boxwood.

You’ve never seen such a disheartened dachshund as Brodsky when he realized that no matter how high he threw up his back leg, there was simply no way he could reach the much taller dog’s mark.

He’s been trying ever since, though, and will not pass by that shrub without marking it. Let’s hope we get a good rain soon, before he kills the poor plant.