I can't seem to shut up about dialogue

Number of entries received for the 2007 InnermoonLit Award for Best Short-Short Story to date: 62

A couple more dialogue pet peeves I thought of...

Phonetic spelling: Regional differences in language are fascinating, and it is a good idea to incorporate them into your writing to give it a sense of place and to make your characters’ voices authentic and distinctive. But please, please, resist the urge to use a bunch of phonetic spellings in dialogue to convey an accent.

It’s just too much work for your poor reader, who will most likely be forced to mouth the lines aloud in order to decipher their meaning. So listen closely to the dialect your characters speak and capture its rhythms, idioms, and quirky grammatical constructions. But I would suggest avoiding doing anything that makes your reader feel like he has to translate your work from a foreign language. A frustrated reader usually = an abandoned book or story.

Too much profanity: OK, before you think I’m a hopeless prude, let me explain. There’s nothing wrong with using a little well-placed profanity in your dialogue. Sometimes the situation demands it. But when you let your characters drop the F bomb every other line, it loses its punch. Honestly, one bad word after another is no longer shocking—in fact, it makes for a boring, unoriginal read. I’ve spent time amongst teenaged boys—possibly the foulest-mouthed creatures on the planet. Their language tends to be much more vilely inventive than mere chains of 4-letter words. If you use bad language with a light touch, it will be much more effective.